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sometimes you are in my dreams you never act the way you did when you were alive its always some absurd distortion i wake up and the room is empty my thoughts move from wall to wall like bullets emotions ready to fire at the slightest provocation i usually want to hear sad music at that point something that was highly regarded by us when you were alive i make it into the afternoon somehow various problems come and go and i fall over dizzy disoriented i remember the dream again the back porch we inhabited like clockwork every day after school later i dont want to sleep theres some vague resistance that i cant put words to i wa